Where Have I Been?

Anne (aka A Gamer's Wife) here. Wow, you would not believe all that I've been through since last year. Here's a few updates:

1) My husband is trying to get out of the video game industry

That's right, folks. After two decades of being a video game developer, first in art then as a designer, K has decided to quit his "dream job." Making video games is hard work, both for giant companies and indie start-ups, and in this season of his life, he wants to spend more time with his young kids and have more creative control over his work. K dreams of making comedy videos, creating YouTube tutorials for painting miniature figures, writing a novel, patenting his many ideas, and more.

So we'll see what direction God takes us. I'm currently back to working remotely for a marketing company as a technical writer, and my oldest kid has just started school (what?). I think because I've been writing so much for my job, it's actually gotten my own creative juices flowing. I'm wanting to blog again, and it doesn't feel like a chore. I think beforehand, I really focused on making content that I thought would attract the most readers, but it eventually burnt me out. Now I'm feeling the call to really speak what's going on in my life, what I'm really interested in and not necessarily the most popular clickbait-y subjects.

2) I'm really active on Instagram

...so follow me there if you haven't already! I'm not hardcore into photography, but it's been fun doing the FMS Photo-a-day challenge and connecting with people through Insta. I mostly follow accounts about fish, art, Denver Broncos (my husband is a fan), and science facts.

3) I no longer own fish

Okay, that's a partial truth. Background: in the year 2016, I went off the deep end in collecting and raising freshwater community fish. Like, borderline obsessive. And you know, it's surprisingly hard taking care of fish! I definitely learned a lot of lessons, which I'll probably be sharing here. After my main aquarium got wiped out by disease a second time, I decided to take a break and start over again. Now I own an axolotl (so creepy cute!) and I love him! I also have a planted nano tank with a blue betta fish from Petco. In my free time, I like watching YouTube videos on fish and pet husbandry, even though K will never let me get more pets (probably better for my sanity that way).

Anyway, looking forward to spending more time with you on this website, being real, growing through life together. And I hope you'll join me too. Here's to the new A Gamer's Wife!

New Season, New Hobbies

I've always been a collector of new hobbies. I think it's because my parents were immigrants and they were fascinated by this American idea of "extracurricular activities." In their country, getting good grades was everything, so their days consisted of going to school, attending after-school classes for more tutoring, and then returning home to eat dinner and do homework. They never got to do anything! So once I was born in the United States, they signed me up for every type of class imaginable. One year of ballet and tap dancing, one year of gymnastics, summer camps for art and science, team sports like soccer, music lessons like piano, public speaking and second language classes on weekends, etc. Because of my parents' enthusiasm for making sure I was well-rounded, I developed a lifelong love for trying new things.

As a child, I collected stamps, did cross stitching, and owned a parakeet. In high school, I listened to musicals, competed in science fair, and joined the Girl Scouts (yes, at age 17). In college, I played the clarinet in the marching band, competed on the kayaking team, and went on a mission trip to Jamaica. I was so excited by new experiences that I even made this list called "When I Grow Up" that detailed all the things I wanted to try once I graduated and got a job.

All this is to say that I rarely stick with the same hobby for very long. Even my permanent love for reading books continually waxes and wanes over the years. And I rarely (gasp!) crochet or knit anymore except when I have a mission (aka I'm bound and determined to finish those stupid Christmas stockings even if it kills me). My current hobbies are:

FMS photo-a-day challenge (I'm very active on Instagram)

Aquariums and fishkeeping (it all started with one betta...)

Running (which I hate but I'm supporting my friend with her first 5K race)

Anyway, I hope you stick with me as I embark on these new adventures. My husband K and I are still geeky as ever, so I'll also continue sharing about our love of video games, musings on sci-fi entertainment, and the progress of our two geeks-in-training (aka kids).

New Avatar to Keep You Guessing

While going through 31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo, it was suggested that you put a professional headshot on the front page to engage your first time visitors. Hmm, anonymous* blog = not showing my face. So what's a budding blogger to do? Use an avatar face maker!

If you know me in real life, you're probably thinking "That looks nothing like you, A." Call it a creative re-imagining, if you will. ^_~ I think K's avatar is much closer though, similar to the look he had a couple of years ago.

I've actually been told repeatedly (most recently by my pastor last week) that I have a very expressive face that shows my emotions like an open book. I've even been told that I speak like an anime character, with extreme pitch variation, punctuated sound effects, and lots of squealing. So maybe this is a better representation of what I really look like:

Question: 
Do you have an avatar you're proud of? Show it to me by leaving a comment!

* If you're curious why I maintain anonymity, check out the newly re-vamped About page!

Why Aren't There More Female Engineers?

My 6-year-old nephew Obi has a huge crush on a fellow female classmate because she likes, you guessed it, LEGOs. It's like a match made in heaven. It reminded me of this survey I received recently from my alma mater. They're doing research on:

1. why there aren't that many women majoring in engineering (10% in my particular specialization).
2. why women who majored in engineering leave their engineering careers.

I fill out their long, 20-page survey, answering questions about the importance of work vs. life balance, treatment of female engineers in the workplace, etc. However, none of them really addressed what I felt was the main issue.

I rarely think about engineering and technology in my free time, even though I am mentally competent at it. While I like using technology like computers, I rarely think about the guts of the equipment I'm using and how it works. I don't read technical articles/blogs, tinker with machines, or watch TV shows like How It's Made. I am more interested in crocheting and knitting, reading fiction books, blogging, and hanging out with friends.

The most successful careers are ones that match your passions in life, and I think women leave engineering because it does not align with their personal interests. (In fact, 3 female engineers I worked with all left to go into teaching.) Some people will say, "That's because girls are raised to play with dolls, not cars." Well, I was given access to both LEGOs and My Little Ponies when I was a kid, but even when I played with LEGOs, I built houses with kitchens and bedrooms, instead of robots and jets like my brother LDK.


A childhood creation I re-made at the LEGO store

I went into engineering originally because I was good at math and science in school, and therefore everyone around me encouraged me to enter engineering as a stable career that fit my strengths. Then I found out that I don't really care about developing and designing new technology products; I was just good at taking tests. After college, I did tech support for test and measurement systems and then moved into business management of industrial automation products. Nowadays, I work for a marketing firm that targets engineering and science companies, but I wouldn't say I'm in the engineering field anymore. I like working with engineers because I get them and understand what they're trying to do, but I'm just not naturally drawn to technical details like they are. ::shrug:: For women who are true techies, power to them. For women who aren't, why try to force them into a career just to bump the percentage numbers?

P.S. I always wanted to be a vet, but my mom told me in 4th grade that it was a bad idea because every little girl wants to be a vet so it's a really competitive field where I'd only get a job treating livestock. Click here to see if she was right.

Knocking Down the Gamer Girl Pedestal

A few months ago, Busted Analog posted an article titled Gamer Girls Aren’t Special Anymore. His stance: stop putting gamer girls on a pedestal because females are more integrated into the gaming world nowadays and therefore should be treated with gender-free equality. The post also introduced me to the concept of the "single game girl," someone who was introduced to a title via a male friend or old boyfriend and obsessively plays only that title. While Busted Analog makes a very stimulating point, I was more interested in the comments that ensued afterward, both online and in real life:

"Like some of the others have said, I think the mystery is still there because 90% of the gamer girls out there aren't what most of us consider gamers. Playing occasional games of Guitar Hero and Tetris does not a gamer make. Girls who play MMORPGs like WoW don't count as well as that is more of a female nerd than female gamer."

Having attended an engineering college, I experienced first hand the perks of being a woman in a male-dominated environment. I never stooped as low as some of my female classmates, who would deliberately wear low-cut, tight-fitting tops to weasel extra computer time from the lab assistants. But yeah, guys would willingly help me with a homework question, while brusquely declining if another dude had asked the same thing. Plus, on the anime chat room where I downloaded episodes, I used a seemingly generic username. But once people realized that I was female, the number of chats I received suddenly tripled.

Yes, college was exactly like this...

I talked about the phenomenon with K afterward, and our conversation turned back to the article...
K: I don't see what the big deal is. An attractive female that actually can beat me at Mortal Kombat seems like quite the rarity to me.
A: Now that I cannot do.
K: True, but you probably could get to my level with practice. I think that the real issue is that you don't like competitive games in general, so your motivation to do so isn't there.
K: Anyone who gave Metroid a big try qualifies as hardcore to me - that game's hard!
A: I definitely prefer co-op; even Left 4 Dead would be ok (if it weren't so creeepy ^_~)
K: After your experience with Monster Hunter, I bet you'd be 4000% better at Metroid's gameplay skill aspect now. I mean, if you can decode timing and tells on a monster and move in with a precision hit... well, that's Metroid in another form.

Aww, thanks for the boost in confidence, K! #^_^#

Related Links:
Seven Types of Girl Gamers

Literary Genius of the Family

By far, K has the English skills and higher vocabulary in our family. I mean, he frequently confounds Scribblenauts with words like "maestro," whereas I struggle to think of underwater apparatus besides "scuba gear" (K's hints: wetsuit, snorkel, submarine). That's probably because K spends his days spewing out design documents and dialogue scripts by the pound. Me, I just blog a few paragraphs here and there in my spare time, interspersed with plenty of images to take up more room.

Which is why the idea of me joining National Novel Writing Month is completely nonsensical. Apparently you get the month of November to come up with 50,000 words (175 pages) of sheer unreadable madness (December is for editing, if you're really serious). I figure that even if I stop after 2,000 words, at least I can say I tried and it's not for me (similar to my previous attempt at running a marathon ^_~). And no, I have no idea what I'm going to write about. Maybe I'll describe my childhood and what it was like being raised by a cannibalistic tribe of parakeets. (Ahem, please excuse K's sense of humor...) Anyway, guess I know what my next hobby is going to be; wish me luck!

Useful Links:
How to Write a Novel: The Snowflake Method
HOW TO: Write a Novel Using the Web

Spending the Perfect Evening Together

When people ask me what my hobbies are, generic things like reading, blogging, and hanging out with friends usually spring to mind. But if I really admit how I'd like to spend my ideal weeknight... that would be working on my latest crochet project while watching K play video games. I'm totally serious. I will oftentimes beg K to get his console controller out rather than watch a movie because spending that sweet shoulder-to-shoulder time to the tunes of bullets ringing and zombies growling is absolute bliss.

How in the world did I become like this?

• I enjoy recharging at the end of the day by simply being with K.
• I like being productive with my hands, but want something on in the background.
• Watching K play games doesn't require my full attention.
• K tends to reveal behind-the-scenes industry tidbits if I'm around. ^_^

I know other wives who love to do this too, especially if their husbands' game has an in-depth story and amazing cut scenes (ex: Final Fantasy series, Grand Theft Auto IV). Laura and Lance kept their long-distance relationship alive for over 2 years by getting on WoW and Skype every night. And Sara helps Ben out as his in-game navigator, scouring the strategy guide as he plays to point out any secret rooms or important characters to meet.

In related news, K pointed me to a new blog called The Gamer's Girl which vows to "bring the Gamer and their Girls closer together." Her latest article tells the sweet story of her relationship's first gaming experience, so go check it out.

The Official "About Me" Post

History
I grew up in the US, lived in the same city for 18 years, went to an out-of-state engineering college, got an engineering job in a really cool city, and then married K.

Beliefs
Became a Christian at the age of 6. At the time I was suffering from night terrors and couldn't even watch "scary" movies like The Princess Bride or Neverending Story. But one night I got on my knees and asked Jesus to be my Savior, and He took them away from me. Been a believer ever since!


Family
My parents are still married and living in the same house. My younger brother LDK has also joined the work force and has a longtime girlfriend who also loves to game (lucky him!). As for me, I met K after college at a singles church retreat. I'll tell the full story later, but it must have been a match made in heaven because we met, dated, and got married within a year. No kids yet, but they seem cute. ^_~

Personality
Outgoing and talkative on the outside, but surprisingly an introvert on the inside. Quirky sense of humor (corrupted by K). Genuinely happy 70% of the time, 20% neutral, 10% not happy. Logical and organized; an executor of tasks. Weird mix of tomboy (tolerates bridal/baby showers and romantic comedies) and girly girl (likes cute animals and giggling).


Appearance
20-something years old, just under 6 feet, 140 lbs, shoulder length hair perpetually stuffed into a ponytail, no makeup, functional clothing, wedding ring, big smile. ^___^

Preview: About Me

Hmm, I was looking all the posts under the category of About Me, and I realized that I haven't really told you guys anything about me except:

• I come from a very math/science-oriented family and educational background.
• I only started playing games after meeting K.
• My hobbies include playing video games, reading, crocheting, knitting, watching anime, and working out.

Unfortunately, I'm under some constraints of what I can say because given how public a game developer's name is, K doesn't want to get fired/sued for anything I say here. Hence, the lack of family pictures, actual names, and so on. But I'll see what I can do...


Hehe, if you haven't played with Wordle yet, you can enter random text or have it scan your blog for the most common words. Seriously though, I'll prepare an official "About Me" biography for next time!

Cyclical Gaming Droughts Up Ahead

I'm in a gaming drought. It's true. Not that I'm much of a gamer to begin with, but I like to rotate around with my hobbies. And right now it's crocheting and knitting's turn. I'm absolutely obsessed... this week I worked on or finished a baby blanket (my friend's in her 2nd trimester), plush bunny, baby washclothes, and dog sweater.

Unfortunately, it makes me feel really bad for leaving Monster Hunter and Rune Factory 2 on the shelves. I'm usually all about starting 1 game and sticking with it until completion, but my heart's not into games right now. K, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoys bouncing around between titles, like deciding what dessert you're in the mood for after dinner. He's totally the type who would pick up a 5, 10, 15-year-old game just for the nostalgia factor. I mean, over Christmas, he started and finished Metroid I for the 200th time (at this point, he's got every move memorized so it only takes a couple of hours).

Me, I've never been one for dwelling on memories. Whenever I finish some big chapter in my life (high school, college, moving to a new state), nary a teardrop can be found on my cheek because I'm already looking forward to the next great adventure. While I don't mind re-reading a favorite novel, replaying video games to me feels like remaking a scarf I just finished. Why go through all that effort again? ^_~

How Harvest Moon Got Me to Exercise

If you talk to anyone who has heard of the Harvest Moon series, they'll immediately know you're referring to a very specific genre called "farm simulation." Every day your character wakes up and you can do things like farm your land, raise livestock, do tasks for the townspeople, or court the village girls. Sounds kinda boring, right? Honestly, the point of the game is time management because you only have a set amount of things you can do each day before it's bedtime.

Now it puzzles even me why a game about chores can be so addicting. Maybe it's because I'm one of those executers who likes to check things off to-do lists. Maybe it's the pleasure of leveling up little by little, so that I can kill bigger and badder monsters to make bigger and badder weapons. (Technically, I've only played the Harvest Moon spin-off called Rune Factory.) Or maybe it's visiting with all my favorite girls every day so that their attraction levels towards me increase. K thinks it's incredibly weird when I talk about how I liked Julia at first because of her pretty French maid costume, but then I found out she was only into superficial things so now I like Yue cuz she's more independent and has a pretty kimono. K also accuses me of being a terrible min-maxer since I like to marry each of the girls to see what it's like and then reboot before saving so I can marry the next one.

Anyway, I eventually got to a point in the game where I had found the most efficient method to do things every day, in a certain order at a certain time. Then I realized that working out at the gym (something I usually find incredibly boring) was much the same way. If I could waste hours in a video game doing a repeated list of tasks, shouldn't I be able to do a list of exercises to "level up" in the real world? In fact, aren't there video games for exercise out there? ZOMG! O_O Hehe, in reality, I found Wii Fit and My Weight Loss Coach to be a little lightweight for my needs. Luckily, my company has a gym, so whenever I start feeling the eye strain, I just pop in for a quick workout, all while recording my improved stats by pen and paper. ^_^


Mmm yes, hours of engaging game play...

Command and Completely Conquer

K and I have very different attitudes when it comes to finishing games. If you recall the quantity of games he buys, K goes for the breadth over depth of experience. History has shown that no matter how hard he tries, his attention tends to drift once he hits the 10-hour mark with a title. He's always saying things like, "Oooh, I need to go back and finish Final Fantasy X" or some other game that's been out for 2-3 years. In fact one week, I saw him start three different games in a row: Dead Space ("I love horror games, babe"), Mass Effect ("it's for work, babe"), and Fallout 3 ("my friend worked on it so I had to get the collector's edition and guide book, babe").

"A game a day keeps the doctor away."

My plan of action is more like serial monogamy. I zealously obsess over that one game until it has been completely conquered and brought to submission. Wait, that didn't sound quite right. What I mean is that I gobble books down much in the same way: hands glued to the cover until the very last page. Sure, I don't see as many cool games that way, but with K's vast library of "I've played that before" research, I simply ask him for recommendations. K says I'm a min-maxer, which I unabashedly concur. Why waste my time playing a mediocre product when I can just glean from K's trial-and-error? Hehe...

It's all Geek to Me

K feels that I should reveal to you a key reason why I'm so ok with his video game habit, that I'm secretly a geek at heart. Sigh... I really don't see myself as part of the nerd crowd, but like most people under this label, I am apparently oblivious.

So what if I excelled in science and math growing up? Who cares that my immediate family is made up of engineers and physicists? And yeah, I'll admit that I attended one of those schools that ended with "Institute of Technology." I guess the thing that blackens my reputation the most is the fact that I... I watch anime. I swear, it's not as bad as it used to be! I no longer comb Bittorrent with the best of them, check out the latest releases each season, or spend entire weekends gulping down an "I can't believe that just happened!" series. And it was my ex-boyfriend's idea to go to those anime conventions, not mine... (There, K, I admitted it.)

How did it all start? Well, I had seen the occasional Thanksgiving Sailor Moon special as a kid and was immediately taken by the beautiful art form. (Even to this day, I can't watch anime unless the drawing style is astheticaly pleasing.) But the real addiction didn't start till college freshman year. I met my anime mentor, who opened my eyes to the world of fan subbing, MiRC, and anime that comes in as many genres as movies and books. Honestly though, other hobbies have cropped up and new loves (like K and video games) have appeared. Nevertheless, when K hosts his weekly "Guys' Night In," I still steal away to watch the latest Bleach and Naruto episodes with a couple of friends. ^_^;;

Silly but pretty anime vs. must-see anime with drawing style repels me
Random Link: Blog directory - All blogs on one place

My Gaming Background

Thus far, I've mostly talked about my husband and his work as a designer, but not really about my background and what I think about his gaming lifestyle. Usually, gamers' wives are split into 2 polar-opposite categories. The first type (and the overwhelming majority) believes that playing video games is an immature waste of time that sucks the life out of grown men. There are even chapters dedicated to husbands seeking to avoid wifely wrath for dipping into their favorite pastime. The other, much rarer breed of wives proudly declares, "I'm a complete gaming geek myself and we LARP/play WoW/attend conventions together."

As for me, I guess you could say... I'm a recent convert and somewhere in the middle. I think the only computer game I played growing up was King's Quest, but the older I got, the more it morphed into my younger brother doing all the crazy button-punching while I struggled to focus on the rapidly moving enemies. It wasn't until I was dating K that he one day surprised me with a Nintendo DS. "I just wanted to, ah, foster your interest in what I do," he innocently claimed. Since then, I've gone through about 15 games, hungrily conquering them one-by-one like a dying man on a mission.

Least you think my hands have permanently assumed a claw-like grip from being glued to my portable, my interests can be quite cyclical. Sometimes I get obsessed with reading and visit the library every other day. Sometimes it's cross-stitching, flatwater kayaking, or blogging (like now). I'm a woman of many pastimes and expert at none, but I know K is quite pleased with himself for adding video games to the list. ^_^

Internet Celebrity

Being so tightly integrated with the latest technologies, the video game community naturally has an overwhelming presence online. Let me give you an example. I met my husband K at a singles church retreat a couple years ago, and something about me sparked his interest. When he later followed up with a "let's do coffee" email, I idly Googled his name to see what I could see.

Now when I type my name into a search engine, I get everything from a realtor to retired oncologist to a 9-year-old making her first website. When I entered K's slightly unusual name, all 85 matches referred to him, even the ones translated into Chinese. We're talking press releases, developer's diaries, production credits, gameographies, even IMDB for the voice acting he had once contributed for a game. I immediately emailed my BFF, "I'm dating a freaking movie star!" Okay not really, but you get the point. While commoners such as myself seek to erase all traces of personal information from the web, K's professional career benefits from as much searchability and prominence as possible. Marrying K has opened my world to this whole other beast: the entertainment industry.