Sunday, September 24, 2017

How to Hang out with a Night Owl Husband

Taking a quick break from the 50 Ways to Kill Your Fish series to talk about marriage. If you recall, Mr. Gamer is a unapologetic night owl and I’ve long given up on changing his ways. In fact, I even gotten used to and fall asleep faster going to bed alone - no one's tossing and turning and snoring next to me. (^_~) Mr. Gamer's and my schedules are off by several hours, but for our family of four, that's just the norm.

how to hang out with a night owl when you're an early bird

The only problem is having, well, one-on-one time with each other! With mismatched bedtimes, our shared waking hours are shorter and usually occupied with taking care of our two young kids. By the time they're down for the night, I'm exhausted and ready to hit the sack myself, whereas Mr. Gamer still has a third of his day left to burn. Without meaning to, we can easily become two ships passing in the night, roommates that share chores, childcare, and not a lot of romance. (◞‸◟;)

I've heard of this parenting practice called couch time where you spend at least 10 to 15 minutes every night having meaningful conversation with your spouse on the couch. However, you're supposed to do it in front of your children to show that your marriage takes priority in the family. Hmm, that's gonna be a problem. I'm not saying that our kids think they're the center of the universe and must always command our attention. With a 3- and 5-year-old, it's just not in their best interest to be left alone together. (⌒_⌒;) Seriously, two minutes barely pass and they're either a) crying and screaming because they're fighting or b) suspiciously silent which means they're getting into trouble and/or endangering their lives. I could have them go to their rooms to keep them safely apart, but then that would defeat the whole point of them seeing us talking.

boxing kangaroos
"Mooommm, he's throwing my toys in the toilet! Can I put him in a headlock?"

So yeah, rather than toss the baby out with the bathwater, "couch time" is just going to have to be modified until they're old enough to not destroy the house. Mr. Gamer and I have come to a compromise that as soon as the kids are asleep, we both get ready for bed together (even though he's still going to be up for several more hours). While brushing our teeth and slipping into comfy pajamas, we take turns talking about our day, sharing what's on our hearts, or geeking out over the latest superhero movie (because there's always another one on the horizon). And we're trying to get better about praying together afterwards, not because we have to, but because we want to have a stronger, shared relationship with God as a couple and not just as individuals.

Especially in this rough season of life, giving couch time another try has been so good for our relationship. Supporting and getting supported by my soulmate makes it easier to take one day at time without feeling so overwhelmed. So if you're having trouble keeping in touch with your wife or husband, schedule time for it! The payoff is totally worth it. ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

With the crazy busyness of life, what do you and your partner do to have quality one-on-one time with each other?

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