No Girls Allowed!

There's one husband in our married couples Bible study who still plays video games, and he happens to be newly married, no kids. Seems like having offspring puts a damper on a man's gaming mojo, so K has had a hard time really connecting with anyone in the group. But now that he's discovered this potential friend, we have a big roadblock... his wife!

Let's call them Mike and Mary. Mary is the same girl who wanted to give me her husband's copy of Halo because he was overplaying it. So K and I thought, why not invite them over for dinner, and afterward the guys can try out some video games together while I entertain Mary with chit chat and baby Dexter? Perfect plan, right? Yeah, not so much. First, Mary complained that the TV was too loud, so they had turn the volume down waaay low and couldn't hear the dialogue in the tutorial. Second, she wouldn't stop bugging the guys and kept hovering around and checking up on her husband. Hmm, maybe next time we'll try a different tactic where I invite Mary out to Starbucks (her weakness) so the men can have some time by themselves.

Several of my female friends don't understand the need for "guy time," where men hang out with other men and can be their natural, uh, uncouth selves. They can freely release bodily gases, make baby-eating jokes, and vent about their girlfriends/wives. Even some of K's male friends don't understand "guy time." One of his buddies is so joined-at-the-hip to his girlfriend that it's become increasingly difficult to invite him to guy-only game nights. So when K wanted to set up a first person shooter LAN party one weekend, he reluctantly extended the invitation to said girlfriend as an experiment. Well, as cool as Kelly is, her presence just changed the dynamics of the whole room. Being new to the group, they weren't sure how far they could push their joking and what might offend her. And she didn't seem to quite get when friendly fire is funny and when it's really, really annoying. ^_^;;

I don't know, I can see it both ways. On one hand, maybe once they get to know her better, things won't be as awkward. On the other hand, sometimes men have things they can only say and do around other men, and no matter how tomboy-ish or laid back a girl may be, it's just not the same when the other gender is around.

Question:
What do you think? Should we give the poor guys their "man cave" time, or is it sexist and backwards?

More Female Characters = More Female Players?

Over two years ago, I wrote a post called Scary Angry Gamer Girls where this female columnist for Kotaku argued that adding more female characters to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 would increase the number of women who would play the game. And I think that's hogwash. But hey, maybe there are girls out there who really care about that kind of stuff, and I'll admit, I'll choose to design a female character by default if it's available.

So let's take a look at a couple of examples, and you tell me what you think. At the time Modern Warfare 2 came out, so did Aliens vs. Predator – another first person shooter that employs soldiers, but this time with both genders represented. Here's what a female marine looks like in the game:

Trust me, this one has boobs

I'm assuming the female is on the left because the other person is balding...

Now before you say, "Well, they cheated and just used the same body rig that has a woman's head slapped on it," here's what a female marine looks like in the movie Aliens:

Private Jenette Vasquez has been doing some serious P90X!

Long story short: when soldiers are all suited up in full gear, you can't really tell what gender they are, especially with all the regulations on even their personal appearance (no beards, long hair, piercings, etc). And that's the point, because they're supposed to be a homogenous fighting force that stresses "esprit de corps" over individualism. So if you want to go for true accuracy in a modern-day military game, a) there won't be a lot of women on the roster and b) you won't be able to tell they're female on the field anyway (at least visually).

Okay okay, if the whole point of playing a female character is that you should be able to tell she's a woman and she should embody feminine characteristics, let's go to the other extreme. In terms of third-person pure action games, God of War stars the very masculine and chauvinistic Kratos, destroyer of gods and user of women. So if you were to make a female version of Kratos, what would it look like? Well, the video game industry will try anything new that might make money, and so we have two female-driven titles: Bayonetta and Heavenly Sword.

Who would you rather play: Kratos, Bayonetta, or Naiko?

Out of the two, I've seen more of Bayonetta, and oh boy, is she feminine. One might say "oversexualized." So does that make Bayonetta just another male fantasy game? From a feminist point of view, you could say she encompasses many ideal characteristics: intelligent, physically strong, comfortable with her sexuality, and member of a matriarchal organization. Is she a powerful, liberated woman or just a different flavor of exploitative eye candy for teenage boys? Is Bayonetta what girl gamers are really looking for?

Now that we've seen both ends of the spectrum – butch, faceless marine #12 versus provocative, sexy warrior princess – which is better? Or is there another alternative? What kind of female character in a traditional "male-oriented" game genre do you think would really attract more female players?

Related Links:
Why Modern Video Game Armies Lack Female Troops

The Resurgence of Stay-at-Home Moms?

A couple of months ago we had a snow day, and on Facebook, I saw lots of messages declaring "So glad to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom)!", "Me too!", and "Such a blessing." Maybe this is something isolated to the Christian community, but it seems like all the wives in my past and current Bible studies are either stay-at-home full-time or working part-time. I'm serious, the count is 12 no-time/part-time to 4 full-time women, and out of those 4 full-time women, 3 of them are older and have no kids in the house.

With the impending addition to our family (let's call him "Dexter" from now on), the decision has been weighing on my heart. On one hand, I've never cared much about climbing the corporate ladder and derive more pleasure from supporting my husband and keeping our household running smoothly (yes, how domestic of me, an engineer with a master's degree). Plus, childcare for more than 1 kid is obscenely expensive. On the other hand, my mom worked full-time her entire career, and I feel like I had a normal, happy childhood and developed into a strong independent woman because of it. I think she would positively die of shock if I told her I was considering being a SAHM. I can already hear her now: "What a waste of an education!" "Children of SAHMs turn out no better than those of working moms." "What if something happens to K's job?"

Well, to be accurate, something did happen to K's job. He's been out of the workforce for half a year now, and yet God has continued to provide while we wait for opportunities to come to fruition. In my ideal world, I would like to work part-time 2 hours a day while Dexter is less than a year old. Once he's a little older, that could eventually ramp up to 3-5 hours a day, but I'd like to stay part-time permanently to have extra time for my family.

Sometimes it can be hard for me think that my measly desires will make any sort of blip in God's master plan, but it says in Matthew 7:
⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

So I guess all I can do is what it says: ask and hope. I'll let you know what happens. :)

Question:
Do you or would you stay at home with your kids?

Do Women "Choose" To Make Less Money Than Men?

When I wrote my post on It's a Man's World (Or Is It?), I was trying to do some research on the ratio of men to women in marketing. Instead, I found an interesting article called Majors by Gender: Is It Bias or the Major that Determines Future Pay? The US Census shows a gender wage gap of a woman getting paid about 77 cents for every 1 dollar a man is paid. However, according to their studies, females tend to make less than males is because they choose majors (and thus jobs) that pay a lower national median income. And these particular majors pay less to both men and women. Common majors for females include public relations, elementary education, and nursing, while common majors for men include engineering, finance, and sports management. Hmm, even with those six example jobs, the latter three careers already seem to be higher paying.

Check out the full article for more data, but I was interested in the why behind women choosing lower paying majors and jobs. The hypothesis: men place more emphasis on salary and will select dangerous jobs or even majors they don't even like just for the money. Economists at the New York Federal Reserve found that "men tend to care more about money and income potential when choosing a major, while women place a higher importance on non-pecuniary aspects (e.g. work schedule, enjoying coursework, gaining parents' approval, etc.)." I totally agree. I personally would much rather stay in a job I liked, have a flexible schedule, and work from home than make the big bucks that my master's degree says I deserve. And yes, if I searched long and hard enough, I could probably find another company that provided all four benefits, but I'm just not as driven to rock the status quo. Unlike K, I suppose, but more on that later...

It's A Man's World (Or Is It?)

In my new job, I work for a small  marketing firm, and every single one of the employees is a woman. I suppose this may be common in the marketing industry, but for me, it's extremely strange. I went to an engineering college with a 4:1 ratio of males to females, and at my previous company, I was the only girl on my team for 3 years straight.

Climbing the corporate ladder, er, stairs

At first I really missed being surrounded by techies who know how to use a FTP server and love good ol' Windows PCs (what is it with marketing people and Apple?), but now that I've been out of that environment for over a year, I do have to admit something. At the engineering company, I worked in a man's world. Not that people treat me with equality and respect and whatever, but... I found it very hard to make friends and that was detrimental. During work, all the guys on my technical marketing team would talk about sports and cars and other "manly things" that I had no interest or experience in. And after work, they would hang out socially and became fast friends. As a married woman, I just felt weird inviting some male coworker over for dinner. Maybe if I were bolder, I would have regularly hosted parties for my entire team, but I'm a closet introvert at heart. And to be honest, I've always connected more with the R&D team because all the marketing guys just seemed... a little too polished, not as genuine.

Anyway, all that is to say that friendships at work get you promoted, and at my past company, I was hitting a glass ceiling. However, I can't say that it was because of gender differences, but rather my shyness at work. Honestly, it all comes down to likeability and networking because K has the same problem. Every time he joins a new company with existing cliques, he has a tough time breaking in and even finding people to go out to lunch with. We both don't tend to make friends at work easily, and it can have devastating results if not dealt with promptly. So in a way, I'm glad I got a second chance with my new company and have no problems relating to my new coworkers. Too bad we all work from home and in different states. ^_~

Why Aren't There More Female Engineers?

My 6-year-old nephew Obi has a huge crush on a fellow female classmate because she likes, you guessed it, LEGOs. It's like a match made in heaven. It reminded me of this survey I received recently from my alma mater. They're doing research on:

1. why there aren't that many women majoring in engineering (10% in my particular specialization).
2. why women who majored in engineering leave their engineering careers.

I fill out their long, 20-page survey, answering questions about the importance of work vs. life balance, treatment of female engineers in the workplace, etc. However, none of them really addressed what I felt was the main issue.

I rarely think about engineering and technology in my free time, even though I am mentally competent at it. While I like using technology like computers, I rarely think about the guts of the equipment I'm using and how it works. I don't read technical articles/blogs, tinker with machines, or watch TV shows like How It's Made. I am more interested in crocheting and knitting, reading fiction books, blogging, and hanging out with friends.

The most successful careers are ones that match your passions in life, and I think women leave engineering because it does not align with their personal interests. (In fact, 3 female engineers I worked with all left to go into teaching.) Some people will say, "That's because girls are raised to play with dolls, not cars." Well, I was given access to both LEGOs and My Little Ponies when I was a kid, but even when I played with LEGOs, I built houses with kitchens and bedrooms, instead of robots and jets like my brother LDK.


A childhood creation I re-made at the LEGO store

I went into engineering originally because I was good at math and science in school, and therefore everyone around me encouraged me to enter engineering as a stable career that fit my strengths. Then I found out that I don't really care about developing and designing new technology products; I was just good at taking tests. After college, I did tech support for test and measurement systems and then moved into business management of industrial automation products. Nowadays, I work for a marketing firm that targets engineering and science companies, but I wouldn't say I'm in the engineering field anymore. I like working with engineers because I get them and understand what they're trying to do, but I'm just not naturally drawn to technical details like they are. ::shrug:: For women who are true techies, power to them. For women who aren't, why try to force them into a career just to bump the percentage numbers?

P.S. I always wanted to be a vet, but my mom told me in 4th grade that it was a bad idea because every little girl wants to be a vet so it's a really competitive field where I'd only get a job treating livestock. Click here to see if she was right.

Scary Angry Gamer Girls

Along the same vein as my previous post, one thing I really don't understand is ultra-feminist gamer girls. The ones who deliberately interpret everything that male gamers and game designers do to be directly aimed at causing offense to the female population. Now I will admit outright that I am not a feminist in the traditional sense, someone who focuses on more rights and legal protection for women. In fact, with that definition K probably embodies more feminist ideals because it always enrages him if he hears about a woman being abused by some guy. As an female engineer, I've always straddled the line of understanding both genders. I like computers and cats, and yet am uncomfortable talking about football and fashion. Weird mix.

Bottom line: I tend to accept things for the way they are. Especially if it's concerning something as "silly" as video games. A female columnist for Kotaku called Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 a "typical male fantasy" and felt guilty for enjoying such a sexist piece of software. Okay, think about what you're saying:

1. Is it wrong to produce products geared toward a specific gender? (e.g. skirts)
2. Does having negligable numbers of female characters prevent anyone from using the product? (e.g. the film Saving Private Ryan)

With uniforms so thick, I think only the 5 o'clock shadow gives it away.

Also, her top suggestions include adding more women in different clothing and body types, having a lead female character she can identify with, and hearing radio commands in a woman's voice. Hmm, somehow I just can't imagine that increasing the "female presence" will grow the number of girls who play Modern Warefare 2. I'll admit that I tend to choose a female avatar if there's one available, but avatars are not the reason why I choose to play a game. It's about the game play, the art, the story, the soundtrack. If you're a gamer girl who plays first person shooters, you're going to try out the #1 selling game of its genre, regardless of the number of women you can find in the background scenes. And don't let any feminist tell you otherwise.

That might be a girl, but I prefer to repect his/her privacy...

Knocking Down the Gamer Girl Pedestal

A few months ago, Busted Analog posted an article titled Gamer Girls Aren’t Special Anymore. His stance: stop putting gamer girls on a pedestal because females are more integrated into the gaming world nowadays and therefore should be treated with gender-free equality. The post also introduced me to the concept of the "single game girl," someone who was introduced to a title via a male friend or old boyfriend and obsessively plays only that title. While Busted Analog makes a very stimulating point, I was more interested in the comments that ensued afterward, both online and in real life:

"Like some of the others have said, I think the mystery is still there because 90% of the gamer girls out there aren't what most of us consider gamers. Playing occasional games of Guitar Hero and Tetris does not a gamer make. Girls who play MMORPGs like WoW don't count as well as that is more of a female nerd than female gamer."

Having attended an engineering college, I experienced first hand the perks of being a woman in a male-dominated environment. I never stooped as low as some of my female classmates, who would deliberately wear low-cut, tight-fitting tops to weasel extra computer time from the lab assistants. But yeah, guys would willingly help me with a homework question, while brusquely declining if another dude had asked the same thing. Plus, on the anime chat room where I downloaded episodes, I used a seemingly generic username. But once people realized that I was female, the number of chats I received suddenly tripled.

Yes, college was exactly like this...

I talked about the phenomenon with K afterward, and our conversation turned back to the article...
K: I don't see what the big deal is. An attractive female that actually can beat me at Mortal Kombat seems like quite the rarity to me.
A: Now that I cannot do.
K: True, but you probably could get to my level with practice. I think that the real issue is that you don't like competitive games in general, so your motivation to do so isn't there.
K: Anyone who gave Metroid a big try qualifies as hardcore to me - that game's hard!
A: I definitely prefer co-op; even Left 4 Dead would be ok (if it weren't so creeepy ^_~)
K: After your experience with Monster Hunter, I bet you'd be 4000% better at Metroid's gameplay skill aspect now. I mean, if you can decode timing and tells on a monster and move in with a precision hit... well, that's Metroid in another form.

Aww, thanks for the boost in confidence, K! #^_^#

Related Links:
Seven Types of Girl Gamers